It takes Jaskier a moment to wrap his mind around that, brow frowning in confusion - not as big as he and Dandelion, obviously, still processing that one thank you very much, but still. New Geralt had said he used to speak in grunts, as well, to be more like Old Geralt. He's older and nicer now, and that's good and all, but it's still weird to think of him as going out there and getting a bunch of not-paid lovers...
Like, let's say, a bard would do.
It's a good thing, really, that Geralt has achieved another step into normality, so to speak. Fewer people afraid of him, the kindness and affection he deserves. But Jaskier is Jaskier, and jealousy remains, especially when he thinks about poor Dandelion. Their relationship is recent, New Geralt said, which means Dandelion had to live through all those lovers. Jaskier never thought he'd see the day he would be thankful for just having to deal with Yennefer. Which is an incredibly selfish thought, because again, Geralt deserves this little piece of normality.
His heart just happens to be a mess right now. So much for having to reach that conclusion when he woke up, huh?
He supposes it had been silly of him to think he could just let go and enjoy this vacation so easily. New Geralt may be new, but he's still Geralt. Any conversation they have from now on will always end up back on these topics, on the differences, on making Jaskier's heart ache. Like now, with the witcher sitting under his feet, just hanging out like friends would do. Offering an ear for the bard's wordy rants, not something he's ever thought he could have.
It only takes him a second to jump off the windowsill and sit next to New Geralt on the floor, shoulders touching. If they had a fire in front of them, it could almost be like the old times - well, except it was never like this with Old Geralt, was it? So... comfortable. So open.
Jaskier loves talking about himself. But he's never talked about Geralt himself, not this level of honesty, he's realizing now. He's sung his praises and defended their friendship, but he's never truly shared the details of what they had with anyone, except maybe the Countess de Stael. And even her only got like one tenth of it.
If I talk about it, I'll cry again.
Putting it into words makes him feel so stupid. Jaskier has dealt with heartbreak many a time, but right now he just wants to scream. It's not just a lost love - he never even expected that from Geralt anyway. It's the loss of his best friend, his youth, his identity. So proud he's been of what he's done with his life, and who is he now? What kind of idiot is he for having built a reputation so entangled with the White Wolf's? He ran away from his family to, among other things, leave Julian behind and be the true Jaskier in him. What have the last twenty years become?
A lie.
He should say that. Instead he says-
"So you want to hear in detail what a fool I am? Why, Geralt, I thought you were the nice one." He jokes, his hands betraying him as they play some of the chords for Her Sweet Kiss. "I had only been trying to insult Yennefer, you know. All I know about his taste in women besides her is... whores."
Because not even twenty years of loyalty have earned him the true story of what happened in Blaviken.
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It takes Jaskier a moment to wrap his mind around that, brow frowning in confusion - not as big as he and Dandelion, obviously, still processing that one thank you very much, but still. New Geralt had said he used to speak in grunts, as well, to be more like Old Geralt. He's older and nicer now, and that's good and all, but it's still weird to think of him as going out there and getting a bunch of not-paid lovers...
Like, let's say, a bard would do.
It's a good thing, really, that Geralt has achieved another step into normality, so to speak. Fewer people afraid of him, the kindness and affection he deserves. But Jaskier is Jaskier, and jealousy remains, especially when he thinks about poor Dandelion. Their relationship is recent, New Geralt said, which means Dandelion had to live through all those lovers. Jaskier never thought he'd see the day he would be thankful for just having to deal with Yennefer. Which is an incredibly selfish thought, because again, Geralt deserves this little piece of normality.
His heart just happens to be a mess right now. So much for having to reach that conclusion when he woke up, huh?
He supposes it had been silly of him to think he could just let go and enjoy this vacation so easily. New Geralt may be new, but he's still Geralt. Any conversation they have from now on will always end up back on these topics, on the differences, on making Jaskier's heart ache. Like now, with the witcher sitting under his feet, just hanging out like friends would do. Offering an ear for the bard's wordy rants, not something he's ever thought he could have.
It only takes him a second to jump off the windowsill and sit next to New Geralt on the floor, shoulders touching. If they had a fire in front of them, it could almost be like the old times - well, except it was never like this with Old Geralt, was it? So... comfortable. So open.
Jaskier loves talking about himself. But he's never talked about Geralt himself, not this level of honesty, he's realizing now. He's sung his praises and defended their friendship, but he's never truly shared the details of what they had with anyone, except maybe the Countess de Stael. And even her only got like one tenth of it.
If I talk about it, I'll cry again.
Putting it into words makes him feel so stupid. Jaskier has dealt with heartbreak many a time, but right now he just wants to scream. It's not just a lost love - he never even expected that from Geralt anyway. It's the loss of his best friend, his youth, his identity. So proud he's been of what he's done with his life, and who is he now? What kind of idiot is he for having built a reputation so entangled with the White Wolf's? He ran away from his family to, among other things, leave Julian behind and be the true Jaskier in him. What have the last twenty years become?
A lie.
He should say that. Instead he says-
"So you want to hear in detail what a fool I am? Why, Geralt, I thought you were the nice one." He jokes, his hands betraying him as they play some of the chords for Her Sweet Kiss. "I had only been trying to insult Yennefer, you know. All I know about his taste in women besides her is... whores."
Because not even twenty years of loyalty have earned him the true story of what happened in Blaviken.