And? Geralt shoots an annoyed look Jaskier's way, brow furrowing. He isn't eager to delve deeply into the disaster that was the mountain-- the Many Fuck-ups of Geralt of Rivia doesn't need an encore. But--
Here they are.
The sour-lemon face is back, twisting Geralt's mouth in a distasteful expression. Jaskier's good with words, can't he read between the lines and figure out what Geralt is trying to say? Read the apology hidden in his scarce words? But apparently that isn't good enough and he either doesn't understand or refuses to, wants more. He deserves more, and from a better man than Geralt.
"I was... cruel."
An understatement, really. And his cruelty had led to this, to Jaskier spending too much time in Nilfgaard's tender care, to the bandages that Geralt had to apply himself over all those wounds. Some of those injuries might scar, might mark Jaskier for the rest of his life. He owes Jaskier words, at the very least. If he is to be honest with himself, he owes Jaskier two decades and a reputation, and that's a heavy price.
He takes Jaskier's wrists, to salve and bandage them next. Keeping his hands busy is far better than letting them sit uselessly on his thighs.
"I lashed out at you in anger, and you didn't deserve such treatment. I wanted to be left alone to my misery. I knew that what I said to you would make that so." He smooths the bandage over Jaskier's wrist, taking more time than is strictly necessary to be sure that it wouldn't pinch or be too tight. "I've walked the Path for decades, and you're the only person who has walked it with me. The only person who isn't shackled to me by destiny. You chose, year after year, to be at my side."
The muscles in his jaw are tight. He almost wishes that Jaskier had kept yelling at him, or had just struck him and was done with it, because that would be far more bearable than this.
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Here they are.
The sour-lemon face is back, twisting Geralt's mouth in a distasteful expression. Jaskier's good with words, can't he read between the lines and figure out what Geralt is trying to say? Read the apology hidden in his scarce words? But apparently that isn't good enough and he either doesn't understand or refuses to, wants more. He deserves more, and from a better man than Geralt.
"I was... cruel."
An understatement, really. And his cruelty had led to this, to Jaskier spending too much time in Nilfgaard's tender care, to the bandages that Geralt had to apply himself over all those wounds. Some of those injuries might scar, might mark Jaskier for the rest of his life. He owes Jaskier words, at the very least. If he is to be honest with himself, he owes Jaskier two decades and a reputation, and that's a heavy price.
He takes Jaskier's wrists, to salve and bandage them next. Keeping his hands busy is far better than letting them sit uselessly on his thighs.
"I lashed out at you in anger, and you didn't deserve such treatment. I wanted to be left alone to my misery. I knew that what I said to you would make that so." He smooths the bandage over Jaskier's wrist, taking more time than is strictly necessary to be sure that it wouldn't pinch or be too tight. "I've walked the Path for decades, and you're the only person who has walked it with me. The only person who isn't shackled to me by destiny. You chose, year after year, to be at my side."
The muscles in his jaw are tight. He almost wishes that Jaskier had kept yelling at him, or had just struck him and was done with it, because that would be far more bearable than this.
"And I sent you away."