There's something about how Jaskier praises him for asking what seems like an extremely basic question that makes Geralt cringe on the inside, like he's praising a child for a finger-painting. Geralt is working with a handicap, certainly-- his closest father-figure is an old fencing teacher who used to box him 'round the ears for getting into mischief as a child-- but even he can manage this most rudimentary level of guardianship, right?
And he isn't her father. She had a father, and Geralt cannot replace him.
He listens to Jaskier's explanation with the same focus that he listens to townsfolk describing their monsters, like he's trying to commit every little detail to memory. Then he goes a little too far with his explanation--
"Jaskier."
--before he catches himself and keeps it on-track. Geralt has only been Ciri's guardian for a few weeks, but he cares for the girl in a way that he never experienced before. Some echo of what a father would feel for their child, left over after the mutagens had dulled everything else, he assumes. He can only hope that it will be enough.
With Jaskier's help, maybe, he can be at least passable at guardianship. But that would also require Jaskier to want anything to do with child-rearing, and he's seemed quite keen on avoiding marriage and children for forty years. Offering advice is one thing, but sticking around for the day-to-day is something else entirely.
"She has no one else, and there's too much power in her to remain untrained. There will be things that she'll need to learn that I can't teach her."
She'll need Yen. Even if the sorceress wants nothing more to do with him after the disaster on the mountain, he'll need her help simply because she is the most powerful wielder of Chaos that he knows. He'll do whatever it takes for Yen to teach her, just as he would've done whatever she had asked to save Jaskier from the djinn. But he can't show her everything that she needs to know, and, really, he isn't even sure if what he can teach are even the right things for her to know.
I'm afraid, he almost says. I'm afraid that this is a test that I have no hope of passing. I'm afraid that my failure will ruin her as well as me.
He says none of it. Instead, he says,
"I'll look through the library tomorrow afternoon, after we get supplies."
no subject
And he isn't her father. She had a father, and Geralt cannot replace him.
He listens to Jaskier's explanation with the same focus that he listens to townsfolk describing their monsters, like he's trying to commit every little detail to memory. Then he goes a little too far with his explanation--
"Jaskier."
--before he catches himself and keeps it on-track. Geralt has only been Ciri's guardian for a few weeks, but he cares for the girl in a way that he never experienced before. Some echo of what a father would feel for their child, left over after the mutagens had dulled everything else, he assumes. He can only hope that it will be enough.
With Jaskier's help, maybe, he can be at least passable at guardianship. But that would also require Jaskier to want anything to do with child-rearing, and he's seemed quite keen on avoiding marriage and children for forty years. Offering advice is one thing, but sticking around for the day-to-day is something else entirely.
"She has no one else, and there's too much power in her to remain untrained. There will be things that she'll need to learn that I can't teach her."
She'll need Yen. Even if the sorceress wants nothing more to do with him after the disaster on the mountain, he'll need her help simply because she is the most powerful wielder of Chaos that he knows. He'll do whatever it takes for Yen to teach her, just as he would've done whatever she had asked to save Jaskier from the djinn. But he can't show her everything that she needs to know, and, really, he isn't even sure if what he can teach are even the right things for her to know.
I'm afraid, he almost says. I'm afraid that this is a test that I have no hope of passing. I'm afraid that my failure will ruin her as well as me.
He says none of it. Instead, he says,
"I'll look through the library tomorrow afternoon, after we get supplies."