Well, Mr. DILF doesn't exactly have a choice in the matter-- he can't drive home, especially not on his motorcycle, when he's high as a fucking kite. Both because it'd be immensely irresponsible to be out on the road when he's this much of a mess and also because he isn't entirely sure that he'd even be able to ride the damn thing out of the parking lot without tipping over. So really his only options are to stay over here for the night and go home in the morning, spend the next three hours walking, or call one of his brothers. And there's no way in hell that he's going to explain why he's high off of his gourd at Jaskier's house to either Eskel or Lambert. Eskel would just be disappointed in him, Lambert would never let him live it down, and both possibilities are equally bad.
Jaskier unscrews the top of the water bottle for him, which allows him to take a long pull from it; after drinking beer and getting high, he's thirsty. And water always tastes better when he's high, more... wet? He doesn't know, he's fucked up.
He sinks down a little further into the soft cushions of the couch while Jaskier picks out what is, apparently, the perfect film to watch while stoned to shit. It turns out to be a Monty Python film, The Life of Brian, and he really sets the mood for it by dimming the lights and then settling back in right next to Geralt, shoulders and thighs touching. He's about to comment on it when another cookie is put into his hand and, well, since it's there he has to eat it, and by the time he's done that, he's forgotten what he was going to say.
Geralt levels a Look at Jaskier when he asks if he's seen Monty Python before, like one of the most well-known comedy troupes in the world is some kind of obscure British national treasure.
"Yeah, I've seen Monty Python," he says. "Who the hell hasn't?"
He does pretty well through the movie-- Monty Python's fucking funny, even to a grouchy, stoic bastard like him. He makes his way through most of the jokes with chuckles and amused huffs, which is far more than most things get out of him. Jaskier's body is warm and stable next to him, and he leans into the touch just a little. Not enough to make him want to move, or to make things weird with the way his skin feels hungry after he's been touched. It's mostly just annoying, because you'd think that he'd have had his fill of contact after a one night stand or two. And getting high makes that hunger worse-- makes him want to sprawl on top of the closest available warm body and leech the heat out of them. He's trying not to give in and do that to Jaskier, it would be immensely inappropriate and he also might crush him.
Then they get to The Scene.
He's all right through the beginning of it, but just as the guards can't keep their shit together, neither can Geralt. It's not just the fact that the name Biggus Dickus is fucking hilarious, it's also the delivery of it and the fact that every other person on set was also desperately trying not to corpse. By the time the other Roman centurions are laughing on-screen, Geralt has slumped to the side and is wheezing out laughter, leaning his weight against Jaskier's shoulder. He almost gets himself together, but then there's the bit about Biggus Dickus' wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, and that just sets him back off again.
Biggus Dickus is funny even when stone-cold sober-- no one stands a chance when they're high. No one can blame Geralt for laughing, even if he is kind of crushing Jaskier.
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Jaskier unscrews the top of the water bottle for him, which allows him to take a long pull from it; after drinking beer and getting high, he's thirsty. And water always tastes better when he's high, more... wet? He doesn't know, he's fucked up.
He sinks down a little further into the soft cushions of the couch while Jaskier picks out what is, apparently, the perfect film to watch while stoned to shit. It turns out to be a Monty Python film, The Life of Brian, and he really sets the mood for it by dimming the lights and then settling back in right next to Geralt, shoulders and thighs touching. He's about to comment on it when another cookie is put into his hand and, well, since it's there he has to eat it, and by the time he's done that, he's forgotten what he was going to say.
Geralt levels a Look at Jaskier when he asks if he's seen Monty Python before, like one of the most well-known comedy troupes in the world is some kind of obscure British national treasure.
"Yeah, I've seen Monty Python," he says. "Who the hell hasn't?"
He does pretty well through the movie-- Monty Python's fucking funny, even to a grouchy, stoic bastard like him. He makes his way through most of the jokes with chuckles and amused huffs, which is far more than most things get out of him. Jaskier's body is warm and stable next to him, and he leans into the touch just a little. Not enough to make him want to move, or to make things weird with the way his skin feels hungry after he's been touched. It's mostly just annoying, because you'd think that he'd have had his fill of contact after a one night stand or two. And getting high makes that hunger worse-- makes him want to sprawl on top of the closest available warm body and leech the heat out of them. He's trying not to give in and do that to Jaskier, it would be immensely inappropriate and he also might crush him.
Then they get to The Scene.
He's all right through the beginning of it, but just as the guards can't keep their shit together, neither can Geralt. It's not just the fact that the name Biggus Dickus is fucking hilarious, it's also the delivery of it and the fact that every other person on set was also desperately trying not to corpse. By the time the other Roman centurions are laughing on-screen, Geralt has slumped to the side and is wheezing out laughter, leaning his weight against Jaskier's shoulder. He almost gets himself together, but then there's the bit about Biggus Dickus' wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, and that just sets him back off again.
Biggus Dickus is funny even when stone-cold sober-- no one stands a chance when they're high. No one can blame Geralt for laughing, even if he is kind of crushing Jaskier.